Winners and losers!

When I entered high-school, I felt like a loser—skinny, a bit shy. I was envious of the confident older guys—the "winners"—they were athletic and outgoing, with deep voices and big laughs. I was especially envious of those with a girlfriend. I thought: Certain guys find girlfriends and other don’t? What’s the difference between them? Can I follow the example of the "winners" and find one someday too? 　　　　When I first came to Japan and was learning Japanese I had a similar experience with "winners" and "losers". I was living in a guest house with many other foreigners. Yet I had trouble making progress with Japanese, especially with writing. I lost motivation and ended up hanging out, watching TV with the other foreigners where I lived. I felt like a language-learning "loser". 　　　　In the guest house there were foreigners who spoke good Japanese. Others used English all the time, even after a long time in Japan. Because I was having such trouble, I became interested in learning: What’s the difference between those who learn Japanese and those who don’t—what separates the language-learning “winners” from the "losers" ? 　　　　So I started to talk to the other foreigners. I asked them about their studies. I watched them. I wanted to find secrets for success and learn what to avoid. In time, I started to find differences, and based on what I learned, I started making some progress. So what did I find? The most important goal: One "winner" told me "We either learn or we forget." He said that once you stop learning you start going backwards. So I decided to change my goal—rather than telling myself I wanted to be a fluent Japanese speaker, my goal simply became “Don’t stop learning!” I became afraid of failure, and used that fear to motivate myself. Everyone's a beginner: I was surprised to find that the best speakers didn't feel like experts. (They seemed like experts to me!) They didn't talk about "being good" but about improving. They were focused on their daily studies, not the fantasy of someday being fluent. Understand yourself: I saw that everyone learns differently. The best learners talked about what works for them. For example, some learned well through reading while others preferred listening. Some enjoyed learning grammar while others hated it. The worst learners simply blamed the Japanese language for being "hard". How not what: The best learners I met thought actively about different study techniques. I asked one person "What technique did you use to learn Kanji?" He said "What technique DIDN’T I use? As soon as I get tired of one thing, I try another. I’ve tried them all. Somehow, I manage to learn something." Make promises: The good speakers didn't rely too much on self-motivation. One told me that the only reason he studied was a fear of not having the correct answer in class. Taking a class or studying with others forces you to make commitments. It's tough to do it alone. 　　　　A fear of failure helped me a lot. So even today, my only goal is to keep going. Regardless of skill level, those who find a way, somehow, to keep learning, are the true winners. Next time: Good language learners use creative study techniques. Sometimes, standard techniques can be made much more effective with just a twist of creativity. Next time I'll talk about some that I have picked up over the years.